share 74: A measuring stick for personal pain

Daily pick me ups
May 25, 2015
share no 75: Neuroplasticity: What a turn on!!
September 29, 2015

Let’s get personal because therein lies the richness of life! It’s easy to look outside ourselves for things that we think will make us happy. It’s often easy to say “Yeah fine” when asked how are we. But are we just going through the motions, looking for the next “thing” that will make us happy once this current “thing” wears off? Are we being real and honest with ourselves and others if we say “Yeah fine” but really feel that something’s missing?

Indeed it’s a fine balance between being honest, and dealing with negative emotions versus playing the victim. I’m going to share with you that last year was the worst year of my life on a personal level. Business stalled as I focussed on trying to fix “things”. Luckily I practise what I preach so finances weren’t much of the problem. And luckily I’d started the personal development (PD) path many years ago, adopting a very positive approach to life. My brother passing away 12 years ago was (in the end) a catalyst for that growth and provided a measuring stick for future pain, as well as helping me develop coping mechanisms for last year (although I had to dig much deeper this time round and develop new skills). I also had to take responsibility for my role in creating the problems.

I realised I needed to change focus and reset the goal posts. My expectations had been too high for the time frame, living conditions and people involved (including myself). I’ve now got back in touch with ME, enjoying quiet time and my natural surrounds so much more. If others have a different path or deal with stress in a way I don’t like, I can choose not to walk with them anymore, as hard as that may be. Indeed we only have ourselves to blame if we stay in an uncomfortable situation. Most importantly I must remember that to bring out the best in someone we must see the best they have in them. And that includes believing in ourselves.

The answers for richness lay inside each of us. It’s how we view our circumstances. We must connect with loved ones if we are to feel rich and make peace with (or leave) negative influences. So I’m in the process of making peace with the almost daily occurrence of vermin and occasional eating of possessions – who would have thought shoes, bags and clothes could taste so good? LOL I’m ready to make peace this snake season knowing we’ll be seeing them again at least weekly, and I’ve turned a corner with loved ones. I’ve learned to back away in the heat of the moment while not backing down on my values. I look at the funny side of conflict when I can by imagining someone watching the farcical and importantly, remember that we often over estimate what we can achieve in a year and under estimate what we can achieve in a lifetime.

So what about you? Any tips for turning the negative influences of life into positive experiences? Comments are below – thank you xx

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