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  • share 74: A measuring stick for personal pain

    Let’s get personal because therein lies the richness of life! It’s easy to look outside ourselves for things that we think will make us happy. It’s often easy to say “Yeah fine” when asked how are we. But are we just going through the motions, looking for the next “thing” that will make us happy once this current “thing” wears off? Are we being real and honest with ourselves and others if we say “Yeah fine” but really feel that something’s missing?

    Indeed it’s a fine balance between being honest, and dealing with negative emotions versus playing the victim. I’m going to share with you that last year was the worst year of my life on a personal level. Business stalled as I focussed on trying to fix “things”. Luckily I practise what I preach so finances weren’t much of the problem. And luckily I’d started the personal development (PD) path many years ago, adopting a very positive approach to life. My brother passing away 12 years ago was (in the end) a catalyst for that growth and provided a measuring stick for future pain, as well as helping me develop coping mechanisms for last year (although I had to dig much deeper this time round and develop new skills). I also had to take responsibility for my role in creating the problems.

    I realised I needed to change focus and reset the goal posts. My expectations had been too high for the time frame, living conditions and people involved (including myself). I’ve now got back in touch with ME, enjoying quiet time and my natural surrounds so much more. If others have a different path or deal with stress in a way I don’t like, I can choose not to walk with them anymore, as hard as that may be. Indeed we only have ourselves to blame if we stay in an uncomfortable situation. Most importantly I must remember that to bring out the best in someone we must see the best they have in them. And that includes believing in ourselves.

    The answers for richness lay inside each of us. It’s how we view our circumstances. We must connect with loved ones if we are to feel rich and make peace with (or leave) negative influences. So I’m in the process of making peace with the almost daily occurrence of vermin and occasional eating of possessions – who would have thought shoes, bags and clothes could taste so good? LOL I’m ready to make peace this snake season knowing we’ll be seeing them again at least weekly, and I’ve turned a corner with loved ones. I’ve learned to back away in the heat of the moment while not backing down on my values. I look at the funny side of conflict when I can by imagining someone watching the farcical and importantly, remember that we often over estimate what we can achieve in a year and under estimate what we can achieve in a lifetime.

    So what about you? Any tips for turning the negative influences of life into positive experiences? Comments are below – thank you xx

  • Daily pick me ups

    As mentioned in the latest newsletter (you can sign up at www.financialfitness.com.au), daily mantras can be very helpful in keeping focus. Just like nursery rhymes brought joy to us as children, creating a personal mantra for yourself can bring joy and align you with your goals. You’re welcome to modify the two I share with you here (one for my part time business and one for life in general).  (more…)

  • share no 72: At 43 I’m still improving the model of ME.

    I turned 43 this month. Does that mean I’m wiser? Indeed I do feel more experienced given the last 12 months of living in the bush. The tree change tribulation (ie snakes, lack of power etc) are expressed here. It’s a short story and funny I’m told, although I can tell you the whole situation almost did beat me. I was ready to give up. My 3 months overseas trip had me thinking of many other options.

    But as I sit here drafting this post (yes I have to drive away to get internet and thus post this post), with birds singing and a wallaby nearby, I realise I’ve come a long way. If I’d run back to suburbia I’d just be returning to familiarity, not necessarily something I really enjoy.

    So where are you, physically and in your life’s journey? How have you improved in the last 12 months? One friend thought I was into Personal Development too much and said I should just be happy with who I was. Is it a paradox that I am happy with who I am (someone who is content yet likes pushing limits and learning more about themselves)? Yes I have learned to slow down, meditate AND appreciate the basics like fly screens on our new cabin windows. I’ve learned that you can’t actually know how it will feel when you have something. You might think you know but there’s still a fine line between visualising and the real experience.

    Also, there can be withdrawal symptoms when leaving the rat race. And sometimes our dreams require much more effort than expected. This is the test of our resolve. And lastly I’ve realised that it’s flattering to be hit on by a guy half your age but wiser to say No thank you. Indeed life’s too short not to smile and have fun. So I guess I am wiser. Tell me, what have you learned in the last 12 months? xx

  • share no 71: 2015 Goal setting turned onto a tangent

    Disclaimer: I’ve left the raw 2nd paragraph uncoated in order to provoke thought. I hope it resonates with some xx

    Thank goodness we’re all different! Wouldn’t the world be boring if we were all the same? And yet in a way, we are all the same. We all want to feel valued, loved, respected and worthy. I daresay we all want happiness and fulfilment, despite some people seeming to revel in bad moods.

    So what does this have to do with goal setting? Well, when you’re working out what you want to achieve this year, think about the very end result. If you aim to pay off debt write down why (eg in order to feel relaxed). If you want to eat healthier incorporate in your goal statement something like “so I have more vitality and feel attractive.”

    Remember that there are many things that money cannot buy. Thinking about my brother who would have turned 37 two days ago if he had not taken his own life 11 years ago, I can’t help but want to shake some people. Those people that either think money is great (and do anything to have it) and those at the other end of the spectrum who can’t even talk about it because it’s a sad area of their life.

    Money cannot bring back my brother but it allowed my sister and I to go overseas and start healing in our own way. It allowed me to take time off work when needed and to honour my brother in a way I could not have done if I didn’t have money up my sleeve. I thank my brother for the worst and best gift of my life, an awakening to balance. He taught me many other things but that’s for a different time. Remember, money is just a tool like a hammer. Use it for good or destruction.

    PS If you’d like to subscribe to the newsletters for a healthy mind, body and wallet you can do so at https://www.financialfitness.com.au Thank you and here’s to a magical 2015!! xx

  • Safe spending for mental health

    Yes money matters but what matters more is mental health. And here’s the catch. If you’ve had a family disaster, if you’re stressed, if your work performance is faltering and you want time off to relax or deal with the issue, what’s going to help you? (more…)

  • sensual (Yin Yang) number 69 blog post

    Oh yeah baby. I can hear the subliminal sexy thoughts around the number of this post now. But have you ever considered it as a type of yin yang symbol, perfectly symmetrical? 69, not so much in text but handwritten with beautiful curves. So how does this relate to health and wealth? Well chances are you don’t fall in love with someone who has the same financial background or beliefs as you do. You may disagree with how money should be spent and whether your current path to retirement is adequate. Let me scare you a little by saying (more…)

  • What legacy do you want to leave behind? How BIG are you thinking?

    Granted I’ve never had children but I’d happily give a lung to my 7 yo nephew who has a lung condition making him 1/100 in Australia with mortality high into his 30’s (after that things get easier apparently). & 10 yrs ago last month my little brother took his own life. Yes life throws curve balls at us to see how strong we are. Remember though to be flexible because something strong & rigid, breaks. And strength comes from (more…)

  • 17th share

    Hi guys,
    The new clip is up on the website www.yourmoneymistress.com and hopefully you get a couple of pointers out of it although it is of course a marketing tool. I’m going overseas to the USA in May so if you have any ideas of where I may be able to do a speaking gig please let me know.

    Now just for you, this month’s S&M giveaway is 100 Tips for More Love and Less Debt. Just contact me via www.yourmoneymistress.com letting me know you watched the clip and what you thought (suggested improvements welcome). Then I’ll be able to securely email you the 100 Tips. Thank you and have a great couple of months!! xx

  • 16th share: Get set for 2014!!

    Okay, as the newsletter’s a lengthy one this will be short. For 2014 just spend 2 minutes thinking about how 2013 went. Then do less of what didn’t serve you or your higher purpose and do more of that which did – simple! I’m letting go of worrying and doing more of being present and trusting that all will be ok (plus a few more) 😉

    Now, if you never consider something seriously it will continue to be a joke in your life (perhaps like money in 2013). So.. (more…)

  • Presence is more important than presents

    If you’re working out what to do this Christmas to make it memorable and life changing why not sit down as a family and do a Strategic visioning exercise? I know a couple of families that do it. They all sit down on the lawn or at the table and (more…)